The Faces of Special Needs Adoption!

It is reality, our family is a walking, talking billboard for adoption. We are asked daily, adoption questions, how long?, how much? and "HOW DO YOU DO IT?" There is never an opportunity that I pass up to talk to someone about adoption. And closest to my heart, Special Needs Adoption! There is a forum I read regularly and a member posted today to share your family's story about Special Needs Adoption and here is ours....and my biggest hope would be that I would encourage 1 person, 1 family to open their hearts and home to a child with a special need.

I have a motto, a little "slogan" I guess you can call it! Special Needs: My child is Special & they need me & I need them! Special Needs in the adoption world can range from something as minuscule as a missing pinky toe to as severe as the defected heart that almost took my 4 year olds son's life. It can also mean having a blood disorder that may never affect them their entire life, or to me is the most absurd, healthy older child. Yes, being healthy and being older is considered a special need. Our family would not be what it is today, had it not been for the "defects" or the "special needs" that my children posses. So in a way, I am thankful (that sounds bizarre) that God made them perfect in His sight, not perfect in a world of where some may look past a child due to fear of the unknown or misunderstanding a need that truly is not a need at all. Don't get me wrong, we carried fear, lots of fear, especially with Noah, until the day I laid eyes on him, and gasped out loud the moment I saw him. I was totally expecting this frail unhealthy, sickly child. But that was not even close! We met a bundle of energy, a joy, the sweetest boy I have ever met! And he sat on a waiting list, in jeopardy of his file being returned, only to have to sit longer, maybe forever, without a family because of his multiplexed heart condition. I still will never forget the moment I saw him on rainbowkids.com I had no intentions of finding my son that day, but I took one glance and knew, he was mine! Marissa walked into the office, saw his picture and started to cry! We cried together! We both felt God opening our hearts! The rest is history! Am I still scared? ABSOLUTELY! It is inevitable that Noah will have open heart surgery this year. A very complex surgery, that will entail the stopping of his beating heart while the surgeons repair Noah's "Special Needs"! If that doesn't scare a person, I don't know what will? But it did not scare my husband or it did not scare me enough to say "No, we will not love this boy, for the rest of his life!" Whether it is for a year, or 5 years or 50 years....he is our son, in total Noah perfection! Come what may......

And now I turn to the "Special Need" of an older child. Mariah, Noah, Estella and Emma would all be considered "Special Needs" just from being older. But I will focus on Emma, who is turning 14 in 5 short months! Talk about the UNKNOWNS!!!! First off, I have entered the world of teenage girls, and that is the thing that scares me the most! Mostly because I "faintly" recall what I put my mother through at 14!! :) But Emma is who she is! We are well aware that she is not going to run up to us, hug us, sing us a song (Mariah did this when we first met her)! It is going to be hard work, dedication, understanding and overwhelming patience! In a fantasy vision of Emma's gotcha moment would be her running up to us, hugging us both, calling us Mama and Baba, taking our hands and us leaving a room painted in rainbow colors while the song "WE ARE F A M I L Y" is playing in the background. In reality, there will be tears, a very scared young girl who is about to have everything that she has ever known changed in a blink of an eye! But we are going to give it our all, our hearts, and a promise that we will never abandon her, never harm her, and will love her for the rest of her life. And in return, our hope is that her heart will be healed in time, she will accept us, love us at her own timing, and find a place in her heart of acceptance and self worth. We do not feel in any way that we are going to China to get our adorable little Estella, who by the way, also has an undisclosed special need that in her time, her decision, her story to tell, will maybe some day share. Yes, a SPECIAL NEED! But we are not going to go and get "two for the price of one" deal, we are not going to "SAVE" Emma while we go and adopt Estella. We are traveling to adopt our daughters who we feel called to call our own, our daughter.

This month, March 24th to be exact, it will be two years since our sweet little Mariah came into our lives and we feel honored, privileged, blessed beyond words to call her daughter. And exactly one week later, on April 1st, we will be celebrating another milestone. our 4th year anniversary, that our Taiwan princess was placed in my arms at 8 months old. Not many people know, but as we awaited travel to get Mya four years ago, we were dealt a devastating blow. A call from our agency that was facilitating Mya's adoption. When I got the call from the director, I knew that there was something wrong. My heart sank and tears flowed as she began to tell me that the orphanage director in Tainan Taiwan felt Mya was behind all the other babies in milestones and they decided to have her checked out by a doctor. They ran several testings and a brain MRI and it was found that Mya had a blood clot in her brain. They felt that Mya suffered from cerebral palsy. WHAT??? I was leaving in 2 weeks to get her and this bomb? I was a basket case, but my husband, the cool calm and collective one reminded me of our journey, our faith and our love for this baby. And in an instant, the peace came about me and we never looked back! And she does not have cerebral palsy!! But even if she did, we would have loved her the way God intended! Mya truly started our mission to build our family through adoption and even though she is "CRAZY MYA" and she is an unpredictable firecracker who at any point in the day she may be sneaking lipstick out of my purse and putting it all over her face, or sadly Noah's face, or the Mya who ALWAYS has some form of food or mystery substance tangled in her thick black hair, or her pretty girl steps she has, as she has been a tip toe walker since she took her first step. Little Mya Min Hecky even took my fears of flying away, as I was determined to take the 24 hour journey across the globe! Mya has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love!

If you or someone you know has ever mentioned the idea of adoption, I encourage you to listen to your heartstrings. Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from the love that Chad and I have had the privileged of experiencing in our lives! Each one of our miracles, our "SPECIAL MIRACLES" have enriched both of our lives beyond explanation, can't even put into words, unfathomable, far beyond any thing we could ever come close to giving back to them! It incomparable! And if you are called to parent and love a child with Special Needs, I am certain your life will be enriched with treasures of joy and love! I witness it daily!